Close Encounter

Driving through Brighton, bringing someone their food.
The weather is miserable but good is my mood.
So I turn on my wipers and turn up this tune,
Something catches my eye that is surely not the moon.
So over I pull, to the sky I peer
Right above my head is a huge metallic sphere.
“Finally,” I shout, “a U.F.O at last!”
In reply, the sphere sends out a subsonic blast.
My body starts to vibrate and now begins to fade.
I am tremendously excited and extremely afraid.
My vision returns and I am in a large room,
That is polished and shiny like a new silver spoon.
A wall slides open, it must be a door,
Too reveal little grey men that are three feet tall.
The leader steps forward, wearing a ridiculous robe.
I laugh; he smiles and produces a very large probe.
“Drop your pants!” he orders, straight to my mind.
“Fuck You!” I shout “you aren’t touching my behind.”
So I do the unexpected and kick him in the head.
The others scream in horror, as out the door they fled.
The leader is mine, so I strap him to the table.
Pick up the probe and say “that I am willing and able
To do unto him as he would do unto me.”
So I grip, and I thrust with abandoned glee.
Once I am done, I ask “how did that feel?”
With a smile, he said “that was fucking unreal.
“Why don’t you stay?” he asks with a quiver.
“I’m flattered,” I say, “but I have a pizza to deliver.”